Nope, not it!

I can only dream of having a bounteous booty like this:

Not my second career.

http://trustygamer.com/industry-thoughts/is-trixie360-a-part-time-burlesque-babe/

Happy Birthday Xbox LIVE!

You’re getting to be a big boy now, XBL. Nine years old! Next year you’ll be in the double digits and that’s a big deal! I remember when you were a tiny little baby not yet born into the world. You held the hopes and dreams of all your mommies and daddies and aunts and uncles. We worked very hard to make sure you were born healthy and happy.You took your first tentative breaths at a small office park in Redmond. There was much worrying when you had your first sniffles and we hoped you would be able to meet your adoring public on time.  And then the day finally arrived, November 15 2002.

And there was much rejoicing!

 

 

I would like to thank you, Xbox LIVE, for being so important in my life. You’ve fed my children, took me around the world, introduced me to actors, musicians and athletes, but more importantly because of you I’ve made many wonderful friends and met the love of my life.

Happy Birthday!

These are the shirts you’re looking for. Introducing Anti Pink T’s!

There are times in life when you bitch about things and move on. And there are times –more rare, certainly– that you bitch about something and then DO something to fix it. Remember my rant about the girls t-shirts at Target?

Those fluffy nothing shirts make me want to rage.

Well this time, I’m doing something about it. I’ve teamed up with my good friend (and fellow Xbox alum) Shelley to create t-shirts for girls that empower them, inspire them, make them laugh, and don’t diminish them to a creature that merely seeks to be pretty and buy stuff.

We started with the intention of just making shirts for little girls, but we heard so much feedback from moms that they too would like cool t-shirts that we decided to design shirts for women of all ages. We also created a couple that aren’t meant for kids. We would actually dearly love to see this shirt on a hefty man.

Take a look at our site and let me know what you think.

What to read – the bibliophile’s dilemma

Haruki Murakami’s new novel 1Q84 will be released in the US in five days. I’ve had it pre-ordered for months. I know that as soon as it lands on my Kindle I will be torn between tearing into it right away and barreling through as fast as I can, or delaying the pleasure (and the subsequent pain of finishing). But before I get there I have five days of reading time to fill.

I actually meant to write this post last week, when The Marriage Plot downloaded to my Kindle. It’s been 10 years since Jeffery Eugenides’ last novel (the brilliant and Pulitzer Prize-winning Middlesex). I didn’t read it right away because I was completely entranced by A.S. Byatt’s 2009 novel The Children’s Book. Being on a Dame Antonia high, I ordered her series of 4 novels in paperback. Paperback! Anticipating a winter’s worth of brilliant writing I figured I would stay in Byattworld for quite a while.

But then I finished The Children’s Book and The Virgin in the Garden, Still Life, Babel Tower and A Whistling Woman hadn’t arrived yet. So… did I dare dive into the new Eugenides? What would happen if I wasn’t done with it by the time the Murakmi released? The dude took ten years to write it; I didn’t want to give him short shrift by rushing through it.

Maybe I could read something else in the meantime. Then, wham! I was hit by a bunch of other new releases or books from favorite authors that I’d missed.

The Lady of the Rivers appeared on my Kindle. Third in the Cousins War series by Philippa Gregory and a prequel that tells the story of the witchy mother of the White Queen. But diving into a historical novel takes a certain frame of mind.

Then again I had Jeanne Kalogridis’ new one on the Kindle too: The Scarlet Contessa, which is about Caterina Sforza. You may mock historical fiction if you want to, but on my travels overseas for business I have oftentimes been the only person among my coworkers who has known jack about the history of the place, and most of this knowledge comes from historical fiction. Example: in Milan for a video game tournament we visited Sforza Castle. I knew the history of the Sforza thanks to reading Leonardo’s Swans by Karen Essex.

So I read a few pages of The Scarlet Contessa and wasn’t quite in the mood for war. So I just peeked into The Marriage Plot to see if it grabbed me. It did. It’s now in the “read” pile and I still have five days til Murakami-san graces my Kindle.

Listening to an interview with Amitav Ghosh on local radio the other day (He has a new novel River of Smoke which is second in his series about the opium trade) reminded me that I have Sea of Poppies on my Kindle to read. I definitely want to read it before River of Smoke and I REALLY want to read River of Smoke. So… that’s another possibility.

And then I discovered that somehow I’d missed the July release of A Death in Summer by Benjamin Black. (Black is the pseudonym for John Banville who writes literary novels as brilliant as any you’ll find. I’m a particular fan of The Infinities). As Benjamin Black, he writes a series about a Dublin medical examiner named Quirk who solves mysteries. They’re dark, rainy, booze-soaked books and I loved the first three.

But then if I was going to veer away from literary fiction into crime/thriller territory I may as well consider going back to the well of Jo Nesbo, Hakan Nesser, and Lars Kepler. Though on further investigation I’ve already read the only Kepler available in English. (The Hypnotist – gory and beautifully fucked-up)

I’ve got Jo Nesbo’s Nemesis on the Kindle already so I should probably read that before I go download another Nesser, right? But by that logic I should read my Kindle backlog before taking on new releases, and I think it would take me far longer than five days to read these:

• The Botticelli Secret by Marina Fiorato
• Bleak House by Charles Dickens (the formatting is fucked up on this one)
• Mile 81 by Stephen King (got scared and had to put it in the freezer)
• The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie (Tommy and Tuppence annoy me)
• To Have and Have Not by Ernest Hemingway (couldn’t take the N-word)
• The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta (got distracted by another book)
• The Echo Man by Richard Montanari (I love the detectives in this series)
• Shambling Towards Hiroshima by James Morrow (His book The Last Witchfinder is a favorite)
• “A” is for Alibi by Sue Grafton (I can’t remember which letter I read last so figured I’d start over)
• Ice Cold and The Silent Girl by Tess Gerritsen
• Gilbert and Gubar’s The Madwoman in the Attic after Thirty Years
• Inside Scientology: The Story of America’s Most Secretive Religion by Janet Reitman
• Poison: A Novel of the Renaissance by Sara Poole
• Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving
• Syndrome by Thomas Hoover
• SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life by Julie Morgenstern (lol)
• The Scourge of God by William Dietrich
• The Harry Bosch Novels by Michael Connelly
• The Wild Trees by Richard Preston (he once replied to a fan email I wrote him about The Cobra Event)
• Love and Louis XIV: The Women in the Life of the Sun King by Antonia Fraser
• The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe
• Bone Crossed by Patricia Briggs (Fourth in the Mercy Thompson series. Got distracted)
• The Unremembered by Peter Orullian (Not a fantasy fan at all, but my friend wrote it. I bought two copies)
• Elizabeth I by Margaret George (I loved her books on Cleopatra and Helen of Troy)
• Kleopatra and Pharoah by Karen Essex
• The Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss (The Name of the Wind was one of the only fantasy novels I’ve ever enjoyed)
• The Great Derangement: A Terrifying True Story of War, Politics, and Religion at the Twilight of the American Empire by Matt Taibbi
• A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick
• The Guinea Pig Diaries by A.J. Jacobs (I loved The Year of Living Bibically and Know It All)
• The Enchantress of Florence by Salman Rushdie (one of my favorite living writers)
• The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan (brilliant writer by the missing child subject matter is too hard atm for this mommy)

Holy shit that’s a backlog. And that doesn’t even include Kindle Singles or samples. I’m especially interested in the sample for The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern. So much so I’m afraid to read the sample, get sucked in and have another option to deal with.

So yeah. Five days and an embarrassment of reading riches. What to read?!

T-shirts for girls hit the wrong Target

Ever since learning that my youngest child would be female I’ve been buying her clothes. A lot of clothes. BabyGap and Gymboree have benefited from my credit cards plenty in the last two years as has Target. I bought my stroller, crib, changing table, Bumbo seat, and a ton of toys and clothes at Target. For the most part I very much enjoy Target, but they are the one retailer that pisses me off with their gender stereotyping regarding children’s clothing. I’ve ranted about this, and tried to explain it, but today I took photos that illustrate my anger.

Let me first say that I am not opposed to ‘girly’ clothes. My daughter loves to wear dresses and she has a lot of pink garb. I’m not attempting to create a gender-neutral human. But take a look at these shirts meant for girls:

I don't hate the mis-matched socks, but otherwise this image says to me "being a girl means shopping"

"The only thing interesting about me is my accessories."

Seriously?

Even if this was in "Boy" colors, would you dress your son in a shirt that said "Sweet & Perfect"?

Contrast this passive, pretty, “girly” messaging with what’s offered in the boys section:

You see what I mean? Boys are cool, rock -n- roll, astronauts and action heroes! And girls shop and bake cake.  Every one of these shirts could also be offered in girl colors. Sure, girls can wear orange and black and green…why not? But why make parents choose between dressing their daughter like a cool boy or a future concubine?

I bought my daughter the “Future Astronaut” shirt. And a Minnie Mouse tracksuit.

Review: The Green Man

The Green Man by Kingsley Amis
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

One of the scariest books I’ve ever read. This, and The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson made me lay awake, afraid to go to sleep. I recently tried to re-read The Green Man thinking “oh, it can’t be that scary.” I stopped reading two chapters in. “Nuh-uh. Not going through that again!”

View all my reviews

Care and Feeding of a Small Tyrant

Save Ferris? Save Grandma!

Because I was cracking myself up writing this, I am sharing some excerpts from the three-page document I wrote for my mother on the Care and Feeding of Baby Trixie.

Language
“If she points at the freezer she wants a popsicle. “Arcle” means popsicle, but it also means bicycle and motorcycle. If she’s pointing at the TV and yells “arcle” it means she wants to watch the “Things with Wheels” episode of Barney.”

Technology
“Put her iPad on the charger after breakfast so you don’t forget. Bedtime is a freaking nightmare if her “game” is out of charge.”

Feeding
“She’s usually ravenous as soon as she gets home. She may eat a second dinner if everyone else eats later. She may eat all of her food, say “all done” (which means she wants out of the high chair) and then steal your food too.”

Bathing
“She does enjoy pooping in the tub, so watch her if she looks like she’s thinking hard. The bubbles create good cover for stealth turds, so beware!”

Entertainment
“Her go-to shows on Netflix are Barney and Yo Gabba Gabba. “Bahney” and “Yo Baba”. There are many episodes of Barney that she enjoys. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out which one she wants. “Ammals” is most likely the “Jungle Friends” one. “Song” is the live Barney show, which is horrendous. Sometimes you just have to scroll through Recently Watched and wait for her to stop screaming. Rarely she will start hollering for “babies” which I found out the hard way means “Rugrats”.”

My husband and I are off on our belated honeymoon tomorrow–a cruise to the Western Caribbean–and my mom is on Toddler Patrol for a whole week. Wish her luck!

Pink Things – Product Reviews

I have a 2 year old daughter. There is a lot of pink in her world. Here are three of them:

Big Grips iPad Frame and Stand

I got the original iPad for Mother’s Day 2010. Though my daughter wasn’t yet a year old, she took to the thing right away. Soon it filled up with baby apps and TV shows, and I reluctantly turned it over to her full-time and (not so reluctantly) got myself an iPad 2. The best thing I ever purchased for this device was the Big Grips Frame and Stand. It both protects the iPad and makes it so she can watch Yo Gabba Gabba and Dora the Explorer in her bedroom, on the sofa and on a plane. It’s soft, grabbable, and best of all prevents any iPad mixups that might lead to Mommy playing Monkey Preschool Lunchbox and Baby watching Six Feet Under.

 

Crayola Washable Colored Bubbles in Pink Flamingo

Pink bubbles! Sounds fun, doesn’t it? I picked these up at Target one sunny day because I trust Crayola when they say “washable.” I have purchased and enjoyed Crayola products my entire life. When I was a kid my mom had a box of 64 crayons with the built-in sharpener that my brother and I were only allowed to use on special occasions. Once, while sick and high on codeine cough syrup I beat a cockroach to death with a box of 64 in my Manhattan apartment. Crayola had my back once again.

But this time… THIS time, Crayola has messed up. After blowing pink flamingo colored bubbles on my patio with the baby, she looked like an extra from True Blood and the patio looked like a scene from Dexter. That shit did NOT go gently into that good bathtub either. It took several soakings to remove the pink stains. All the other parents I talked to on Twitter and Facebook had the same stained experience. Crayola, you need to do better.

 

 

 

BabyGap Unicorn Sleep Set

I love BabyGap jammies. They hold up in the wash, are soft and cuddly and look ultra cute. This is my daughter’s latest pair…picked out by Daddy on a recent trip to the mall. 

That’s it for the Pink Report!

 

 

 

5 Signs You Watch Too Much Children’s TV

The sound of Barney's voice makes you want to open a vein.

You can no longer just dance. You must "dancey dance."

Gooble no longer makes you think of a sad sex toy.

You want to smack Tolee for being a whiny bitch.

Diego is starting to look hot.

PAX Prime: What Me Do

Some of my very best gaming memories are PAX-related. From my first encounter with gamerstench back at PAX #2, to my Freedom Fest/Re-Bachelorette/Bad Behavior I Don’t Remember Party in 2007 to showing off my hawt Marine fiance in 2008, a good time was had by me.  After bringing an infant to ’09 and skipping  ’10, I am back in PAX action this weekend. If you’re hitting up the Penny Arcade Expo (that little descriptor is for my 3 non-gaming readers) I’ll be taking part in three panels. Herewith:

Friday 6-7pm Raven Theatre

Can Mommy And Daddy Come Over to Play? The Truth About Being a Gamer Parent

On the panel besides me: Jessica Shea @bsangel [Community Manager, 343i], Justin Korthof @sixokay [Community Manager, Robot Entertainment], Jeff Green @greenspeak  [Director of Editorial & Social Media, PopCap Games], Stephanie Bayer @NSSteph [Customer Engagement Lead, PopCap Games], Jamileh Delcambre @jamileh Community Manager, AT&T.

Unless one of these people has MORE than three kids, I believe Hawty McBloggy and I are tied for Most Fruitful.

Saturday 10:30 – 11:30 Serpent Theatre
Infinite Respawn: How Gaming Can Keep & Save Your Relationship

Panelists include: Chris Brown @leftybrown [Site Owner & Host, The Married Gamers], Aubrey Norris [Deep Silver], Dan Amrich @oneofswords  [Activision], Elizabeth Parmeter [Editor-In-Chief, GamingAngels], Zachary Snell

I have a lot more to say about this subject now that I can sex up my husband in Sims Social.

Sunday 11:30 – 12:30 Kraken Theatre
What Women Really Want

I’m a last-minute replacement for Trina Schwimmer of Gaming Angels, but I will do my best to both make her proud and to cause shock and awe. Besides me, you will be treated to the delights of: Susan Arendt [Senior Editor, The Escapist],  Kathleen De Vere [Actor, LoadingReadyRun], AJ Glasser [Journalist, Inside Social Games], Brittany Aubert [Associate Producer, 5th Cell]

Warning: I don’t work for a corporate behemoth anymore; gloves off, baby!

If you’d like to actually know what these panels are about or peruse the weaksauce shit that will be happening the rest of the weekend, I urge you to visit the full PAX Schedule.

See you there!